3 Keys: Truth, Temperament and Time
Truth: See your Kids how God sees them
Much of your child’s happiness in life depends on how they think you see them. Many of us however have a wrong idea of God's opinion of us and we unconsciously project that on our children. Our kids feed from the feelings, whether affectionate or non-affection we as parents embrace them in.
We base affection on what we've been taught including our bad experiences in life and many other assumptions. When think God is disappointed in us or that we'll never measure up. We self consciously give our child a distorted version of us. If we want to know the truth about ourself and our children, we need to go to the source: God himself and learn to be loved by Him.
Temperament: How are you coming off? Your attitude should reflect the Father.
First understand that your child belongs to the Lord.
Ezekiel 18:4 (KJV)
4 Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine:
Your temper can generate fear and not respect. Yelling at your child may actually be a form of bullying. Instead, try the "Stop, Look and Listen" method.
Stop what you're doing.
Make eye contact with your kids, showing them they're valuable.
Then listen to what they're saying, talking with them, not at them.
It is important to discover who your child is rather to try to mold them into who you want them to be vs what God calls them to be.
As parents our most valuable assets are our children, and yet so often out of our own needs and desires, we forget they are their own unique people. Out of good intentions and sometimes our own unresolved issues we can become controlling or coercive, robbing our children of the freedoms they need for their own growth. Parenting requires we find the balance between loving our children, disciplining them and allowing them the necessary confusion and suffering essential for their self-discovery. All children have some very basic needs, which when given in the correct balance, help them to develop the resiliency required for a strong sense of Self.
Children need your love, time and attention. There is no substitute for you. Never let babysitters, iPads, videogames or other things become the parent or caretaker of your children. We are a working society and all have obligations but children must come first. Make daily time to spend with your kids in whatever capacity you can appropriate to their developmental level.